Nineteenth Chapter

Today has got to be my busiest day ever, for projects. Went to school in the afternoon at 12 to do FABM project. At first, we were not doing anything since we do not know how to start, but after lunch, (ate chicken teriyaki sandwich w/o mayo) I suddenly had the motivation to do. haha since evie has wasted so much time (2h) to do the photoshop of the logo. At first, I was the only one doing the presentation since the others (evie, avril, leon and marcus) are doing their ITB (not in the same group as them) But, after a while Leon came and helped me do too, nice. Then Avril also, she did the floor plan and also the process part. We managed to finish it by 6+ and only left putting in pictures and animation. Not my part already, yei! Then accompany evie to eat dinner at makan place with leon. Did my LMS notes halfway during that time, so as not to waste time at home

Reached home at bout 8.30 and eat my japanese dinner (sashimi and hotate). Then, I continued doing my ITB....god... is killing me. It looks simple but there is so many technical problems! But I managed to finish it by 12. happy me. now I am going to sleep and prepare for my LMS tests tomorrow. omg... busy busy busy....

Eighteenth Chapter

Today was a busy day!! Again!! Went to SP to do E-learning. On the way, I realized my concession expired today so I went TPY interchange to renew it, and hence I was late. Supposed to meet at 1 but came like at 1.40?? LOL but Avril came later, she was late because her laptop was infected by ants! OMG, result of eating in front of the laptop?? I also eat in front of the laptop, so I also must be careful then. LOL. So we went SP and at last eat their food court 3, which is a typical food court. Ate Tom Yam Noodle, Taste like Cup noodle, especially the soup. Did not finish it coz I scared I feel guilty finishing it. hehe. Then we had a hard time (me, evie and leon) finding the library and after much contemplating on whether to stay at SP or go other place to do, we decided to go food court 4 to do (Called Avril and she suggested it since she is on the way to SP le) SP have starbucks! OMG! I will so totally go there everyday if I study in SP....

SO we do e-learning until 6+ then I went to Orchard Somerset to have dinner with my sec school cliques:) (lei, ali, min, may, bei and nic) Managed to finish MAEC, FABM, HOM and BMGT tutorial. SO happy!! Left my ITB. haihx. I can do it! haha. So went to eat food republic to eat yong tau fu, healthy choice. haha. Had a great time, especially th Iphone game (tissue rolling) OMG I suck at it. I was the slowest one out of everyone. 16seconds! Man, and they laughed at me, some friends are they. humph! LOL but overall, it was fun. Then bei and ali keep on saying I grew so thin, and ask me what I do. Well I told them my weight decreased 7kg bu actually is more than 15? Can't say that coz I bet they will be shocked since they are already shocked when I said 7. Went home early coz I was too tired and I need to go out to NP at 12 for project again tomorrow. Bro fetched me, haha so nice!

Well, I am not really resting coz I managed to do part of my ITB e-learning assignment and thanks to leon, I had an easy time doing it. HE told me about the video instruction which is quite clear I might say. thanks man. I shall continue it tomorrow coz I am already tired now...LOL

Seventeenth Chapter

Went to dining workshop today....had a hard time looking for the perfect dress so that I wont look too thin or weird and at last wore my mom's dress since she has the one that there is a sleeve which I prefer. At first, I found it weird wearing since I dont really wear a dress but when I got there, I felt OK... coz everyone (almost) wore the same kind like me. hehe. Mum brought me to school even though she just had her operation (thank you so much) but, I do not want to be the main light of the group like I mean attention, so I told mum to drop me off opposite np bus stop there and I cross over the overhead bridge. A bit embarrassing since I am the only one who wore so formal there.

Went to the dining workshop. First, they taught us about the dining etiquette of the Chinese, Japanese, then the glasses of wine, the western dining etiquette. I was chosen to demonstrate on how to de-shell the prawn.... luckily I managed to, with the person's help:D Do not embarrassed myself. lol. After that, we went to eat!! YEI!! I was famished! Sat with evie, avril and germ:D had fun eating and taking lots of pics:D haha, I had flat-bread as appetizer (ate half of it and then gave another half to germ and avril), tomato soup, gnocchi (this is super duper nice, do not know what is that till I reached home and search, some kind of dumpling). tuna steak (had a choice between tuna steak and beef but I choose tuna, healthy choice) and creme brulee. I was full then, and decided not to eat anymore dinner. Since I ate at like 5.... went to continue and take picture until the person 'chase' us out saying they are opening for dinner. went outside and continue taking. haha.

then went to 313 and did our project...supposedly but went to raindrops instead with jacq, steph, rachel, yy and claire to do BMGT there. They ordered drinks and we had free food from the shop!! chicken pizza, chocolate marshmallow and steph ordered fried calamari. Did not eat them though, although we played game to see who eat them, did not lose but I left halfway coz I really did not want to eat the pizza (high-calorie). But, they asked me to take a piece before I left, I did take, but while putting pepper on it, I accidentally open the whole bottle and pour the whole bottle of pepper onto the piece!! OMG!! I felt so bad but seriously, I did not do it on purpose. LOL. ended up taking another piece and walked to taka to buy macadamia for my mum. however, I did not eat the pizza though, instead, I threw it away along the way. Felt bad but yeah... I still can't eat it....

then I saw my whole wheat bread!! I think is the same one as the one in great world.. look the same, same price but just different brand and place. Since I left a day worth of bread and tomorrow I don't think I have the time to go great world and buy, I decided to take the risk and try it out and buy. LOL. I hope I am right. then went to kino to buy reader's digest while waiting for my mum. She is going to pick me up and bring me home too...really really thanks....

I totally forgotten or you might say did not expect that evie will be really waiting for me. I thought they have left! Till she called me, but I am on my way home already so no choice... LUukily, she ain't angry. lol. tomorrow gonna be a busy day again. Tons of things to do. BMGT reports, E-learning (meeting evie, avril, leon at sp at 1), might have dinner with secondary school peers and do ITB! OMG, busy day!!

Sixteenth Chapter

OK, I was supposed to write this yesterday, but along the way, I was writing halfway, wait, going to finish my post, then I accidentally unplug my laptop cable when I was trying to sort out my camera cable. Turn out is not my camera cable, damn... so, I decide to rewrite it again

Anyway, I decided to join the JYPE audition, yeah.... I do not know what was I thinking and hoping...maybe I am just crazy or maybe I just want to achieve something in my life. Gotta tell Avril to prevent her from getting a shock later on when she sees me in the audition as well, since she too will be going. But, how to tell her man....

So, Monday really became my alone day. Went to the library at 11 and studied there till 3. Steph called to ask about ITB once and that's it. Bet they won't be needing me anymore huh.... whatever, I do not really want to think about this.... Then went to board the bus to novena. Father called in the bus asking me where am I<>

Reached novena feeling so damn hungry. I went to buy a bag of almond, a box of cracker and one California temaki. Then went to buy curry puff for dinner, I give in to my craving and yup, it is delicious but it made me guilty as hell since is not exactly a healthy meal and is high in calories and I lied to my family saying I had a heavy and late lunch and so, I would not eat dinner. Then, I went to buy kaya toast for my lunch. went home carrying all these in a taxi

At home, all of a sudden, mum suddenly asked me to show her what I bought. I was surprised, so I pretended that I was carrying so many heavy things that I went to the room first and then took out my almond and crackers to show her. I was lucky that I bought those, if not, I would be scolded by my mum.....But it is weird for her to ask me this. 2 reasons. 1. she is just curious and 2, she found out about me lying (SS3) and so, to make sure I am not lying anymore, she was just checking it out.... hmmmm....

Jacq asked me do the 2nd assignment for ITB but I still have not touched it yet, going to today....

Dining workshop later on.... god... please make it be fun....

Fifteenth Chapter

URGH!!! I am so frustrated right now! OK, dad, I admire you and all, but seriously, do you have to be that mad just because I can't lend you my laptop?? I mean seriously, I want to charge my laptop (school) and I hate people borrowing my laptop coz, seriously, this poses a very strong risk of my laptop getting spoiled or having virus. No one would like to lend or borrowed their laptop without their supervision and guidance, seriously. ARGH!! I am so mad right now.

I guess today I ate a whole lot of things, which I seriously do not know if it is a good thing or not coz on one hand, I want to overcome my disorder but on the other hand, I want to be thin. I am so confused right now

Jacq asked me whether I am free tomorrow and I lied to her say nope, coz I need to accompany my mother to the hospital. I am sorry but tomorrow, I really want to be alone, coz I dont feel like socializing or anything. IS my problem I know. I even lie to my family saying I got school tomorrow when I do not have, I will be going to the library and hang out there I guess. Is not that I hate them or what, I just do not want to do anything tomorrow. Just tomorrow. I want to rest.

I felt so left out by my poly frens (particularly jacq, rachel, steph and yuen yee group) Firstly, they do not even know I am in their BMGT group, confronted jacq and she told me she really did not know, how great is that..... Then secondly, steph invited all the girls in our clique, well.... except me and claire.... do not know why she did not invite claire though... but the feeling of finding it out totally sucks and I can't even tell or say this to anyone.....

Mom and Dad sure love to reprimand and nag about me, being a liar just because I lied to them about the ticket price for suju concert. I did not even know why I lied for god's sake! It just slipped my mouth. And about my room, seriously, my room is already beyond cure and so, I am just waiting for the day I moved house so I can throw away all the things ok..... my room is too small to be cleaned thoroughly and to be able to put all my things neatly and spaciously.... they have got to realize that man....

As of now, I guess my day today is totally disastrous huh..... I totally hated it, I just hope all the dramas will be gone, and my poly friends.... should really start to treat everyone equally and make bonds with all of them, don't stuck in your own clique man!!! I will try my best to bond with you guys too, but if you guys do not give me a chance or whatever, I find it difficult to have the motivation to try my hardest too you know.....

Fourteenth Chapter

At last!! I am so glad that today has ended! It was a damn hectic day. Early morning, I had to go to school without breakfast since is IS (8am). then after that, I need to go novena to speak to the LONDON thingy, and buy my lunch. after eating at home (kaya toast and temaki ehem), I wait for bro (he came late and I won the bet, hehe) to bring me to the hospital, then I went to meet evie for a while (felt bad for making her queue up alone, but at least she made some friends there) then back to hospital then back home. Tired and exhausted

So in IS, Fariha did not come since she got ear infection (ouch). And I met some new people, like matthew (exchange phone number with him, seems like a nice guy to talk to) and Wee Kiat(?) (joker). And I felt bad not going for the BMGT project, but can't and truthfully, I do not want to, I felt out of place and they did not even tell me about it, like their plans and all, I felt so left out. I don't like my BMGT group:( They are a group themselves and I am not in one of them, and that sucks, I hate the feelings.

Went to hospital and saw mom is in pain, my heart pained when I see her suffer, seriously. I felt like tearing, but I held it in. Stay there for a while and decided not to queue up for SS3. Felt really bad for evie so I kept apologizing but she understood and said never mind. She is really nice:D

Ok, so today I ate 1 biscuit, 15 almonds, 1 spicy chips, 2 slices of kaya toast, 1 california temaki, fish & co( grilled red fish with peri peri sauce, so-called a healthier option, 3 buttery calamari rings, grilled) Is that a lot?? OMG!!I am like so going back to my obsession again! I can't! Help me!!

Thirteenth Chapter

Ok... I konw I have not been blogging, hehe I was too busy and lazy to blog, but I was inspired by my frenz so I started it again. surprise. haha. I am still learning on how to blog though... I feel like putting in pics and all, but I will soon when I learn about it.

So, I have been trying to fight off my disorder right now. SInce I have been dietting, I suddenly realize that right now I am too obsessed with it and weirdly I am enjoying it. For a girl whose height is 160cm, is 44kg too thin?? I guess so. It is going to be 43kg soon too... and I am scared that it is too thin, but I can't stop so... right now I am trying to. Without telling my mum and dad and anyone, since I am scared.

Skipped BMGT and FABM lecture today coz I was too lazy and I want to go Great World to eat my sandwich. LOL. Nothing new today except, I am going to join iDare!! omg, I want to join but I am scared though, seriously, it is quite scary right.... and is a camp. and I am going to join BP for the fund-raising on saturday too, busy busy busy

Tomorrow schedule is so busy too!! After IS, I need to go hospital to visit my mum (she going to have a breast surgery) then go heeren to queue with evie for SS3 tickets then go back hospital again. Oh and I just recently got a new task, go novena and get that card from LONDON.... great... but never mind, since I want to go novena to buy my kaya toast... kekeke:P Busy busy tomorrow, hope the project discussion will be postpone if not I dont think I got the time anymore....