Eleventh Chapter

Today was shinee fansigning event. lei and bei went to my house yesterday to sleepover so we can reach the location early. hehe actually i did not tell my mum about this. only tell her we are going in the morning for some event. Long story and I still cant believe we manage to get in!! AAH!! haha.

So, we woke up at 4, bathe and left the house at 4.40. We board the taxi and reached around 5.30. so we are supposed to meet char, shiting and pisang at cheers. but goddamnit, there is 2 cheers and we go to the wrong one. so we went back and met them at last. by then, there were like more than 1000 people already and we were so sure that we cant get in but we just queue anyway. BUT, suddenly this one woman and a guy(wearing snsd beyond 9 shirt) told us that this is not the queue. we are supposed to queue at the other side and take our no.
Well, so they actually had numbers allocated to them already and somehow they managed to stay overnignt when the management say cant. but somehow, the queue officially started at 10pm on saturday??? so yeah, basically is chaotic.

So we argue to the person saying that there is 2 chinese ladies telling us the queue is here and not there( not me, but char,shiting and pisang since its them who experience it while i am finding my way here). So now, they got confused. But luckily the person gives us a very good advice. Just queue up behind the person with numbers already and we did. But, we somehow got skipped so we did not have no while people that arrive later than us got it(vivian) So, we think of an idea. We still did not believe this no thing is official, but for safety measures, we use our OWN BLACK MARKER AND WRITE THE NO OURSELVES. we keep on changing the no coz it kept on clashing with the person in front or behind us. So after writing, we just hide our hands away from people's eye but I think some of them knew it already( infront of us and behind us). And somehow, this thing become somewhat official. haha. BUT, the problem is, the person came to check the name and no. so we must think of a way to cheat them. When they came, they first say the name 'yi wei'. we told them there is no yi wei but there is yilei. so they believed us. haha and the no happenend to be the same!! 733!! haha. and we told them that the rest of the names are not there coz there is really a person name yi wei there(which happenend to be lei neighbor) but they mistook lei and wei as the same person so they did not record our name but wrote the no, assuming that they have written our names. And they believed!! haha and thats how we managed to get into the queue.

So thanks to the rioting people in front of the mall and on top, we got delayed and only allow to go in at 10. it was damn hot while waiting to get the tag and buying the album. And I foolishly wear a sweater so you can guess how hot am in. the album was like 60 dollars!!! omg!! is so ex but need to buy if not we queue up for nothing!

So at last we bought i got onew so iexchange with shi ting who got key. Then I exchange with bei who got jong hyun. Then I exchange with lei who got taemin. So at last I got a signature of taemin. but too bad i cant take picture of them coz my hp battery flat( pisang keeps on playing with it) and I cant see them coz we were at the back and the people at the front were like tip-toeing and shoving their cameras too. so no use. but char got take a clear pic of it so she can just send me. haha so i got taemin's signature and gave him the gifts but cant shake hands!! so sad. But taemin is so cute and pretty!! he keeps on smiling and nodding his head. he mouthed some words but i cant get what he said. hehe. minho and me were staring at each other for e few seconds before that buy I got too shy so I look around and start to sing some songs. haha.

I was too tired to actually eat. haha I just want to go home, bathe and rest. so here i am now done. haha waiting for tomorow to go back to indo. hehe

Tenth Chapter

Omg!! I finally got my lollipop hp today with the cost of only 68 dollars. Stupid Jason guy. It's good that I did not wait for you or else i would not get the phone at a cheap price. I am so happy. And I have just finished installing and downloading everything. yei! haha now i can play with it. mom's chemo was today and it doesnt seem as hard as last time. She did not really go to toilet much and we are able to leave early. haha. Starting tomorrow, I will have to start injecting her. well wish me luck.

Shinee have arrived singapore and that means....I am in the same country with them It's amazing. It is like so near yet so far. haihx...cant wait for sunday. hehe

Ninth Chapter

Sometimes, I think that being on time is not a good thing. Really. I mean like today, I thought I was late so I feel bad( even though I told them that I will be late) so I quickly left my home and went there. So in the end, I reached at about 1. However, they actually came later. yeah, at 2. Luckily i was sms-ing with lei so i kind if killed my boredome. But during that time, the bit feeling of wanting to play www totally gone. And I need to be home by 4 coz I need to fetch my dad. So, I use that as an excuse to leave early. During the www, i dont really have much fun coz the atmosphere is kind of weird. It's like we are seperated and people are going in seperates. like they only talk among each other and not as a group and I kind of hate it.

I cant get my lollipop today!! The person did not have the stock ready and latest by friday. I hope tomorow they will have coz I cant wait. Really cant. Please let it be tomorow.... On a side note, snsd mv really came out today!! I am so happy coz the mv is nice! There is so much sica scene in there. And no matter how people criticize her, I still love her. haha. she is so pretty!! Love her! Cant wait for their comeback performance! And I got in NP tourism!! my 1st choice!! yei!! hmm...but I feel like appealing to psychology...should I?? I love both courses so I plan to take both but I think cant. what a shame:(

So today father came back and they decided to eat in the restaurant. I feel bad eating a lot. I mean I eat san lo, fish and kang kong. That is a lot. so I decided, tomorow cant eat too much and walk a lot. go!! haha

Eighth Chapter

Today is another tiring day for me. Morning I overslept but luckily I managed to meet with lei on time. haha but shiting overslept too so yeah.... so we finished the banner and the comic by today. It was so much fun. hope that our effort does not gone to waste on sunday. thanks tothis, I got late for my appointment.

Ok, the session thing was tottaly hazardous. I swear they actually make it 2 times tougher than the previous one. I almost died on the steam bath and really died on the wrapping part. I almost fainted. So, they got so worried that they brought me to the room and let me rest before continuing, so after that, I have body wrapping. Ok, it is embarrassing coz i heebd to go out with my body being wrapped and plastic can be seen from my arm and leg. Lesson to be learned: Next tune, wear long jeans and shirt. seriously....I thought everyone was looking at me.

So, for shinee thing, lei and bei now decided to stay over at my house so they can leave early and i need to book a taxi. truth to be told, I haven even tell my parents about this but I think they will allow me right??? Hope so coz I am looking forward to this. hehe.

Ok,so tomorow is decided that we are going to WWW. Actually, I dont really feel like going. Coz seriously, I think I will be the odd one out there. nic and alisha will be there talking among themselves and min and grass too. So, I will be like there alone doing nothing and I hate it. Really. and lei cant go coz she is going cycling with her friends. damn. I hope tomorow fly by very fast coz ther is 2 bad things that is going to happen. 1) My course and school results will be out!! and 2) the WWW outing.

On a side note, there is also 2 good things that will be happening. 1) SNSD MV is supposed to be released today!! O yei!! and 2) I got to have my lollipop today!! YES!!!

Seventh Chapter

I am so sleepy today that during mass, I cant help it but to doze off for a while. Okay, I know this is bad but hey, I really cant help it. I am just too tired from all the activities I did in the morning. And during the homily, I totally dont understand s single thing wat the priest was saying so yeah... Anyway, flashback to during the morning time!!

So basically, I had to wake up at 8.50, get ready and went to TPY to meet lei,char and shiting and brought them to my house to do the shinee thingy. So we basically finish doing the fish, the front cover of the card and the outline and pictures of the comic strips. So we plan to meet again on tuesday. haihx tiring but seriously, it is fun. haha we went quite high while searching for pictures. And Lei brought her lollipop with her! I played with it and it was cool!! cant wait to get it. haha. I felt bad telling then to go home coz I need to go to mass but no choice. Well, basically today nothing much so this post will be short coz today is a normal day. haha.

Sixth Chapter

I can believe that I actually succeeded in the diet programme today. I practically followed the guideline of the book(well except eating a few piece of mango with yogurt). Then, I went far east with my mum to go shopping and I managed to but 3 clothes!! well plus the ones I had in indonesia, it should be around 4-5 clothes already and this means that I have enough for my cny! Yei! And tomorrow I will be buying jeans and shorts and maybe new home clothes. haha cant wait.

So basically, today nothing happens except one thing, eating lunch with my father's friend, om sing sing. Ok...last time, I do admit that I think of him as a clever and witty person who has the talent ot being a very successful businessman that everyone's afraid of. However, I guess 'what comes around goes around'. After being ruthless to people in order to succeed, He now have a so-called permanent illness which involves the nerves of the brain not working and stroke and heart problem. However, he is still stubborn and refuse to quit smoking and maybe..alcohol too. And really, today he became quite scary. I dont really care about how his saliva keeps coming out of his mouth and how his lips were crooked or he is bald or so whatever, but is his attitude that scares me. He expect us to book him a plane today for today's flight to fly to indo and only to be back again by monday??? WTH?? He keeps on asking me to go interenet and book and I just smiled at him and keep quiet. Then during the lunch, he keeps on saying some weird things that I totally dont understand. Andasking me to marry his son?!?! I was like ok...this is plain weird and I escaped to the toilet for a little while and back again so that the topic will change. Ok.... I am mad at him and feel like justs stare at him with that 'are you kiddind' look. But hey, he is quite pitiful too you know. You can see that it is as if he already given up the chances of him being well again and just want everything to end as soon as possible. He hated people or maybe stranger touching him and doing things with his body that he did not know whats the usage of it. He did not trust people easily and is always in doubt, like as if everything they do have some faults in it. And is likeas if he is trying to settle everything, from his wife to his son, before he is gone like that. Thats why I cant be mad at him for a long time coz it is quite pitiful. It is ironic,really. His business' mind that everyone admired becomes the reason why his mind is full of doubts and being pessimistic of his illness and the people who can cure him. That is what you called a double-edged sword huh...

Fifth Chapter

have you ever thought how life can be so unexpected?? Lie a twist of a plot in a story. Just in the morning, the only think I thought I am going to do is to go to MOM to settle my maid's stuff. But then, unexpectedly, I need to settle my own flight to indonesia which now has changed from lufansa to garuda, from 30 jan to 1 feb( which means I can go to shinee fansign event!! YEI!!). Then I thought thats it. But thats not all. We went to chinatown to buy soursoup then novena expecting to buy some new year clothes( which failed coz I can only find tights there and the clothes are not to my liking) and to eat hagendaz( which I regretted coz the cookie crunch is not really nice as I thought) And I really think thats is for the day. But I was wrong...really wrong. My mum and me went to london( for slimming) and ask about me losing weight, and after much persuasion and bargain( which my mum managed to reduce the price to 7500 for 35 session plus 2 free things plus 35 session of body wrapping)

So basically, for today, I went for the 1st com;imentary free session. First, they asked me to take off my clothes and took photos of my fat which is like damn embarassing. Then, begin the session. so i am supposed to go into the hot steam bath for like 10-15 minutes. I practically sing during that time coz I was too bored and I have difficulty in breathing coz is like too hot and steamy. Then, I went for those kind where they wrap you with some very thick blanket for 20 minutes. At first, I thought it was ok, like it's hot but I can take it, but then in the middle, its starting to get hotter and I need to pee, so it becomes unbearable for me but thank god i managed to survive it. then I went to bathe and pee. haha. After that is the machine thingy where it is supposed to break the big fat molecules to smaller fat molecules. It is painful, ticklish and crampy and I need to bear it for 40 minutes. so after that, I am done. I just need to see the consultant to talk about my daily intake and I am supposed to record what I eat and when everyday. and then they give me this weird drink which is supposed to make me full. But instead, it makes me feel like puking coz it taste bad. And then I am supposed to go back on tuesday for another session. o man...but never mind, perseverance. haha

But anyway, apart from all of these, my mum allow me to buy lolllipop!! YEI!! but can only buy the pink one coz there is no white:( But nevermind, I still like it. haha.

Fourth Chapter

Well, as I expected, the sleepover thing failed. I have doubted against it all the time(even though I do have my hopes up). Well first is coz of the uncertainty of chel's family and then, coz of jo and chel's lack of report of their current situation, so we decided to cancel it last minute(which was like 1hr before the official start of our sleepover...rush much??) However, we managed to go to for an outing though(^v^) hehe..to the science centre! It was like another end of the line of my house. It took me like 47 minutes to actually ride MRT from novena to jurong east. Luckily chel's dad willing to pick me up from there to the science centre, hehe coz well, I suck at directions...really. It is like a miracle that jo arrived first!! haha but she took a taxi when she was broke and that like cost her 17 bucks. haha. and she actually wore flats and 3/4 pants when she knew that we were going to the snow city. Silly girl. Me and Chel started laughing when we saw her coz is like 'thats what we predicted and omg, is so true' haha stupid.

Well science centre was fun and entertaining. I like the sound part and the optical illusion part. Is so cool and fun. haha chel cant understand the optical illusion part though coz she cant realy see the point of it. So we started saying that there is something wrong with her. haha but is sooo true that there is. Then we started playing like a child. haha tried to see who beat the hardest using the hammer and by imagining that the point is someone we hate. stupid jo imagine yoochun( I am so gonna kill her...who dares to hate yoochun huh?!?!) And I imagine yunho..and not bad..I hit quite hard. haha. Then when it is left 1 hour, we quicky go to the snow city, and haha, jo needs to rent pants and shoes while we do not need. pity her. So at first we thought that theplace will not be cold and decided not to rent the jacket. But, we are still afraid so we decided to just rent just in case. And GODDAMN HELL!! We were lucky to actually rent it coz it is EXTREMELY SUPER DUPER COLD!! I almost died and I even thought that my feel got frostbite when I went out. The snow city part was so much fun!! We rode the slides like so many times, took pictures and I got to know this one guy from SP( well, he is a worker there, but he is quite funny though) haha. Sp basically, the snow city part was fun and Jo hair was frozen in the end(thanks to me) haha. We went to Swensens to eat dinner and I felt so full! Luckily I did not order sundae, just normal scoop ice-cream. And stupid jo just suddenly scream out of nowhere making everyone there turn to look at us. so embarrassing!! I cant even lift my head up. O I managed to buy legally blonde 1 and2!! Have been wanting it for so long and I manage to buy it!! haha I am so happy right now.

Well, today is really a fun day except one part in the science centre. During the DNA part, there is one board saying about the cancer patients, mainly breast and ovaries cancer patients. There is one part that attracted my attention in a very bad way. There said that a father who got this cancer, had also all of his children to have this cancer. Is like genetic cancer which is similar to my mum's condition....and even me in the future. It got me thinking...and there it also said something of a new medicine but I dont really understand due to my knowledge and little information given.... But anyway, we promised to have another outing next wednesday to go cycling. Cant wait!! Expecting to see chel's improvement in her cycling coz I kind of too tired to teach her...haha I am not really a patient girl you know...

Third Chapter

Today was really a very very busy day for me. Well, one I need to wake up in the morning to accompany my aunt and my mum to the doctor(which I di not do since I overslept and only came later for lunch). Then, I need to meet my friend to meet another new bunch of NEW friends( I got to know them thanks to shinee and lei. haha) Well meeting new friends have always been my nervous-wrecking experience for me since I am not good in those introduction part. But, I guess we hit it off quite well?? haha coz we are able to talk and chit-chat and gossip. Is fun meeting them. And I got a chance to meep somene(char) from NP!! OMG. She is in engineering though but still...kkk

OH!! I manage to get the clothes that I wanted which cost me for about 70 bucks. And I bought another new shirt. Love it but my mum complained that it looks similar like one of my shirt. who cares as long as it is nice right?? haha thats why I am super duper happy right now.

In the car, my aunt and my mum were talking about cancer again, saying how lucky they were to have the money to be able to afford the amount for their treatment while others cant. I find this a bit ironic yet true. It is already unlucky enough that they got cancer but they are actually the lucky ones out of those cancer patients coz they are able to afford the treatment?!?! what came to my mind was that isn't it unlucky enough that you got cancer?? And from what I heard, there is like a very high chance that an ex-cancer patient will get cancer again for the 2nd time. Then I thought, will my mum be like that too?? My aunt did, so my mum too?? I don't really want that to happen. Is like going over the same cycle again. During that car ride, mum's word really left a deep impression on me---Why is it that those people who dilligently did a check-up every year that will most likely got the disease?? is not really fair. you pay for the check-up, you waste your time for it, you worry more than the others and yet, you got it. Is just like exams you know. You study more than him, you worry more than him, you spend your time more on the things you hate while he spends the time more on his games and yet, you score worse than him. People say thats coz he is smart. If thats the case, is there actually any justice for those people who actually study so hard yet cant score?? I hate those unfairness, those words that say 'Nothing is fair in the world'. If there is no fairness, then maybe the world is highly corrupted??

Second Chapter

Today, I went out out with chel, jo and nic to watch New York I love You. It's nice and not as boring as I thought it will be since there is a lot of couples and each couple only have like 5 minutes of storyline. Love Orlando Bloom and the star trek supposedly french guy story plot. Except the fact that orlando bloom looks really ugly there thanks to his tattered clothes. but is still nice though. However, thanks to my bladder, I cant really concentrate halfway through the movie. And THANK GOD. the movie is like only 1 and half hour long. I would have died if it's 2h. Then we went ION to shop or rather say window-shopping since I have no money. haha. I love one clothes there in New look shop but hell! IS like so ex. Is almost 70!! My mum will kill me if I spent that on 1 clothes. haihx I will just bring my mum there someday and shop. haha. But I bought a notebook though. For writing stories when inspiration suddenly hits me. Well, I love writing stories but nowadays, I just do not have any inspiration in writing one, so I shall just wait till I have one. So yeah....after that, we went to eat dinner at ION w/o jo since she needs to leave:(:( THe food is sooo nice but is extremely fulling. haha but I want to eat it again someday. Katsudon!! Yum!

SO, me, nic and chel was like talking about guys....yea...weird. But anyway, we were like talking how guys are emotional being. haha maybe is true though. People who always act tough are usually the weakest one. Then about sleepover, I am surprised my mom actually allow my friends to sleepover at my house. Maybe she is opening up and feel optimistic about herself now, and I feel happy for her. I know she is a strong woman. And a brave one too. Sometimes, I will think what if this happens to me (well there is a 50% chance that it will happen to me as the doctor says)? Will I be able to be optimistic as her? I guess not. I may look optimistic but I know that I am not. But, I know that one day, I will learn to be a strong woman like my mum. She will always be my role model now. Her bravery and her strong-willed is not anyone can do it one.

But now, I dont know if I should tell my friends about my mum since they are going to have sleepover at my house. I dont want my mum to feel uncomfortable around them and vice versa. But I just dont know how to bring it up. I cant just suddenly say, " Hey!! my mum got cancer and is stage 3" That is ridiculous. I mean who will bring that up to friends and is not me. I dont share troubles with friends coz is not me. I have troubles even though I loks happy, coz the happier I am, the more troubles I have in fact. People like me tend to cover up their troubles with a big fake smile coz they are a coward. Coz they are afraid people finding out about your trueself and your weaknesses. They do not trust people coz they have been betrayed once by their most- trusted person. So people, if you happen to have a friend that is like this, help them, dont think that as tine goes by they will be alright, coz experience tells me they will not. Is impossible, they will just hide away and problems will get more and more serious. I have been betrayed by someone once and I know that I wll not believe anyone anymore in my whole life.

first chapter

omg I am actually so bored that I started a blog. haha even if everyone wont know about this and I am not planning to actually tell anyone about this yet.(since this is the only place I can actually vent all my feelings in) but yeah....today was really a very tiring day. But fun. haha making a DIY calendar for Chel's late birthday present with Jo and Nic. I am so sure that she will kill us after seeing it though. we make her idol in such a bad state( yunho shitting and orlando bloom wearing an UFO hat) But hey, is the thoughts that count. We spent a freaking goddamn 6h making it.

Reading friends' blog really makes me in a foul mood. Suddenly, I realise that after 27 jan, everyone will be going in a seperate ways. God knows when will we all be able to gather together again and have fun. I hate seperation and thats why I try not to notice and keeps on smiling in front of them. However, I kind of feel like crying when I knew that one day, we might even lose contact with each other(even though there is fb) I hate it. No matter how I wish time will stop, it just keeps on going and going making me feel so suffocated.

Anyway, back to happier note, Hello baby is coming out tomorrow!! Is a damn good news for all shinee fans like me. haha I will just keeps on refreshing till youtube upload it. O please let some kind souls upload it right after hello baby came out in korea. I wanna see my taemin playing with the baby. O it will be so fun. haha.