Fifteenth Chapter

URGH!!! I am so frustrated right now! OK, dad, I admire you and all, but seriously, do you have to be that mad just because I can't lend you my laptop?? I mean seriously, I want to charge my laptop (school) and I hate people borrowing my laptop coz, seriously, this poses a very strong risk of my laptop getting spoiled or having virus. No one would like to lend or borrowed their laptop without their supervision and guidance, seriously. ARGH!! I am so mad right now.

I guess today I ate a whole lot of things, which I seriously do not know if it is a good thing or not coz on one hand, I want to overcome my disorder but on the other hand, I want to be thin. I am so confused right now

Jacq asked me whether I am free tomorrow and I lied to her say nope, coz I need to accompany my mother to the hospital. I am sorry but tomorrow, I really want to be alone, coz I dont feel like socializing or anything. IS my problem I know. I even lie to my family saying I got school tomorrow when I do not have, I will be going to the library and hang out there I guess. Is not that I hate them or what, I just do not want to do anything tomorrow. Just tomorrow. I want to rest.

I felt so left out by my poly frens (particularly jacq, rachel, steph and yuen yee group) Firstly, they do not even know I am in their BMGT group, confronted jacq and she told me she really did not know, how great is that..... Then secondly, steph invited all the girls in our clique, well.... except me and claire.... do not know why she did not invite claire though... but the feeling of finding it out totally sucks and I can't even tell or say this to anyone.....

Mom and Dad sure love to reprimand and nag about me, being a liar just because I lied to them about the ticket price for suju concert. I did not even know why I lied for god's sake! It just slipped my mouth. And about my room, seriously, my room is already beyond cure and so, I am just waiting for the day I moved house so I can throw away all the things ok..... my room is too small to be cleaned thoroughly and to be able to put all my things neatly and spaciously.... they have got to realize that man....

As of now, I guess my day today is totally disastrous huh..... I totally hated it, I just hope all the dramas will be gone, and my poly friends.... should really start to treat everyone equally and make bonds with all of them, don't stuck in your own clique man!!! I will try my best to bond with you guys too, but if you guys do not give me a chance or whatever, I find it difficult to have the motivation to try my hardest too you know.....